Why ask Arsene about Arsenal Transfer News

I honestly, truly, don’t know why they bother even asking him. What Arsene thinks about transfers is locked away so tightly in that head of his it’d be like trying to get into Fort Knox. Fingerprint readers, retina scanners, multiple Chubb keys, 78 character passwords made up from the wingdings you get when you hold command + ctrl, voice recognition, facial whatsits and a secret phrase from a long forgotten copy of the first novel ever written in Esperanto. And that just gets you into the yard where you face razor wire, a moat, electric fences and a horde of angry bears who shit landmines filled with sulphuric acid and cat piss.